I just gift wrapped bread.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
