Me. At least after what I've been through.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
