There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
