I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
