I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
