u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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