her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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