Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
