And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
