you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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