Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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