If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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