Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my sisters under your porch take her home
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
