He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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