i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize