why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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