i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
