This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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