Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
