im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
