what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
