had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I want a musical about memes.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Holy shit dude........stairs
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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