just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
