Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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