Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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