I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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