you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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