I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
