Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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