wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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