Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
