By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
