So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Two words: nipple clamps
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