margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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