He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
