I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
