i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
