he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Two words: nipple clamps
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