Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
