look no pants
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
