he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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