You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
