And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
