He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
