My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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