Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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