If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
