you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I enjoy the company of your penis
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