I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
