I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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