New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize