If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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