You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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