I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just had sex bonerless
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
