Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Acid is not a monday night drug
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
