You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
