I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
