She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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