Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
