Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You pole danced in your parka.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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