we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
