Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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