new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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