You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
