It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm too high and old for this...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
