he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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