If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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