Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
