plz talk dirty to me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize