May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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